NO FAKE NEWS: "Sleepy Joe claims he can play 90 minutes. FALSE." • "Macron asks referee for a timeout to fix his hair. SAD." • "Brazil spotted practicing dives instead of penalties." • "VAR is a witch hunt against me and the best country in the world, United States of America." • "Crooked Hillary spotted trying to delete referee emails. UNBELIEVABLE." • "Corrupt FIFA president Infantino begged me for soccer lessons. Very needy." • "Fake news claims Trumpinho cannot score from 50 yards. I scored three times in five seconds, believe me." • "Keir Starmer wants to tax the penalty box to fund the midfield. A disaster." • "Kamala Harris was asked about her defensive strategy and she just started laughing. Zero clean sheets." • "Justin Trudeau wears fancy socks but has zero tackle power. Very soft defender." • "Macron tried to reform the offside rule to make everyone work longer. The players went on strike." • "My opponent's goalie has hands so small he cannot even hold a corner kick. Sad." • "Elon Musk wants to replace referees with AI bots. The bots immediately gave him a red card." • "Milei wants to privatize the corner flags and play with a chainsaw. The fans love it."

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